I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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