I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
