I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
