I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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