She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
