Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
