no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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