There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
