If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
