i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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