he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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