i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
