they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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