I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
