just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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