We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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