I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
