well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
