She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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