things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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