Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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