Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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