I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
After tacos, we're chasing women.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
