You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
