I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
