My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
