we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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