She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
