I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
