Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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