it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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