There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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