No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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