Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I pooped in a mop bucket.

(1-512): View more from Texas

WTF???

(512): View more from Texas

Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding

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(319): View more from Iowa

THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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(915): View more from Texas

Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick

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(551): View more from New Jersey

How high are you rn

(201): View more from New Jersey

Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos

(551): View more from New Jersey

So not that high

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