it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
