Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
