1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
