he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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