I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The air was thick with penises
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
