So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
