The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
