Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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