Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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