Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
