i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
