Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
