He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize