Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
