you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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