I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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