oh god the rape fog is back!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
