Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
