i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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