What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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