Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
