he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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