Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Holy shit dude........stairs
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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