How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Let's get the cat blown out
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
