He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
