Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize