This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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