im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Randomize
