peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
