Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
