He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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